For a little while I was totally lost in what I was doing, going from one job to another without really caring about what the job was because the company just wanted me with the knowledge that I had. But the knowledge that I had in the end was my undoing, I say this as I was wondering what it was that I wanted to instead of just heading to the 9-5 day and coding for what that present company wanted.
So, after the birth of my daughter I started to think, what is it really interests me and to make me feel good about myself again with out just having the knowledge of different languages and OS’s etc.. the main thing was that I was not really learning anything that made me tick, I was mainly just doing the same thing over and over again, meetings – notes what the customer / management / users wanted from the next version of the product – code and test – restart from meetings, this of course is what makes some people tick!!.. and they are more than happy to do this, if they are happy that is fair play as such and leave them to it, I was never really interested in the prove I know more than you and hide my code from you!! sort of mentality that was starting to happen in most of the companies I was working in/with.
So, I just thought, sod it.. I am going to head my own way and spend some time with my family and once I have spent some time with my family I may find a new area to look into, or have a different mind set that would adhere me to the working in the normal style of working (be afraid of change, I have knowledge and do not share!!) of course you may have another style of working where you do, could be where I was working and was attracting that style of people.
After spending some really good time with my family and enjoying the fresh air of the day, I have re-found interest in the programming languages, learning, OS’s and other things that surround the Personal computer, hand held devices etc. and now have a totally refreshed mind set, which in turn has allowed me to follow learning in a different light and post on this site my different parts of my knowledge (when I have the time) in short tutorials which makes it easier to follows and also just the small tutorials I per to write and also understand easier.
I have time for allot of people and also none at the same time, you know when you will like someone and I have now surrounded myself with people that grow my interests in many different lines.
So if you find yourself in a similar setup, and just want to have a break from the general style of thinking of the fore fathers as such, you must work to be happy, my theory is yeah.. you must work but you only have this one life so might as well figure out what it is you want to work on, be it yourself and your own ideas (your own company) or you want to be a manager within a big company to feel secure within that environment so be it… it is all about what you want and how you want your life to be, once you know what it is you want, things will happen for you to carry on with that direction within your life and there is not need to hold any anger towards life and your choices because then they would be yours. I do feel that if you hold anger with your choices in life, it will come back to bite you HARD, be it cancer or some other medical problem, because your body will just give up. You will also start to change your style of living, be it for the better (of course depending on how you view better, be it with more land, bigger house, happier, country what ever you want) and also you may change your friends and you start to wonder why you was friends with your old friends because there views are so weird to yours (but then you will find out that those was your views on things without really noticing) there is nothing wrong with there views, just that they are no longer yours, which is totally fine, it is all about how and what you feel is the main important thing at the end of day.
So in conclusion, do what you think will make you happy and do not just follow what you do not want to really do without really thinking about it.
May life has changed allot for the better, I am viewing life for what I think is a good way to look at but of course that view may change in the future, the main thing is that I am HAPPY. That is the most important thing..